How to acquire the best teacher reference letters for your child

The best reference letters are ones that genuinely indicate a long-term and in-depth relationship between student and teacher.

Great reference letters:

There is no shortcut to “get a good reference letter.” The best way is for your child to have a genuine relationship with their teacher.

Outside of reference letters, it’s important to have a strong student-teacher relationship early on because teachers:

Here are 3 strategies you can share with your child to help them build stronger relationships with their teachers.

3 Strategies to Help Build a Stronger Student-Teacher Relationship

• 1. Basic politeness & manners

• 3. Share the journey, not always the outcome

• Parent Resources

1. Basic politeness & manners

It begins with your child’s everyday mannerisms and behaviour at school. Simple manners and etiquette can go a long way to place your child in a positive light. This can include:

Most parents think that demonstrating their child’s top academic performance should be the priority. However, academics are only one part of the holistic picture. Teachers are very cognizant about the way your child behaves in and outside of the classroom.

Having a student who is really thoughtful in class and is excellent academically but is seen being unkind to classmates in the hallways or at lunch can actually leave a worse impression.

In general, simply being a genuine person who is interested in their community can do so much than just flaunting academic success.

2. Bring up goals with teachers & ask for advice.

Right in the beginning, your child should be clear with their teacher about their goals. Teachers work with several students each day - they won’t automatically know your child’s direction unless they have a direct conversation.

This is particularly important if your child is aiming towards a competitive college. Misalignment between what the teacher thinks your child’s goals are and the behaviour they demonstrate in class can leave room for harmful misinterpretation.

For example, if your child is constantly talking to their math teacher about their achievements or pushing for math competition recommendations, this can come off as overly aggressive if the teacher is unaware that your child is aiming towards a competitive STEM program.

Being on the same page gives a teacher better ideas of how they can help your child and look out for more opportunities related to their interests.

Some ways your child can gently introduce their goals to their teacher:

3. Share the journey, not always the outcome

Many parents think that you need to constantly impress in a teacher in order for them to advocate for their child. However, a student who only speaks with teachers to flaunt their success can come off extremely transactional.

We always encourage families to be more transparent with their teachers. It’s more important to show growth by sharing both struggles and achievements.

Say a student wanted to participate in poetry competitions & their teacher shared a few resources. Possible topics the student could share:

Sharing the ups and downs of your child’s journey demonstrates their resilience and excitement to learn. Most importantly, a teacher will learn a lot more about your child’s character by seeing how they respond to challenges than just seeing their success.

These all continue to provide teachers with the small anecdotes that indicate the depth of your child’s relationship with them in future reference letters.

At the end of the day, the best reference letter is one where a teacher can speak on your child’s achievements, character, and growth over the long-term.

Achieving this takes time. By encouraging your child to build these relationships early, authentically, and openly, your child will have even more support from trusted mentors who can encourage them to go to even greater places.

Parent Resources

Free Extracurricular Consultation Call!

Unsure if your child’s academic and extracurricular portfolio is strong enough? Book a call with a member of the Porte’s admission team. On the call, we will:

• Learn about your family’s post-secondary goals & school list

• Assess the strength of your child’s portfolio in relation to their major

• Share additional & personalized resources you can use.

Upcoming Webinar: How to Create Impactful Extracurriculars

On Nov 6 from 6:00-7:00 pm, our team is hosting an informative webinar where we show you exactly how to create impactful extracurriculars. We tell you: